Oleh: Muslimin
Salah satu kepribadian yang melekat pada diri Nabi Muhammad adalah kejujuran dan jauh dari kebohongan. Sebagaimana yang tergambar dalam kisah pertemuan antara Heraklius dan Abu Sufyan. Ketika Heraklius, raja Romawi, bertanya kepada Abu Sufyan tentang sifat-sifat Muhammad SAW, Abu Sufyan menjawab bahwa Nabi Muhammad SAW adalah orang yang sangat jujur.
Pertanyaan lain yang diajukan Heraklius kepada Abu Sufyan, apakah ia pernah mencurigai Nabi Muhammad melakukan kebohongan? Abu Sufyan menjelaskan, ia tidak pernah meragukan kejujuran Nabi Muhammad.
Komitmen Rasulullah SAW untuk selalu bertindak jujur terlihat ketika Beliau berkunjung ke rumah Abdullah bin Amir. Saat itu, Abdullah bin Amir masih kecil. Ketika ia pergi hendak bermain, lalu ibunya memanggil, “Ya Abdullah, mari ke sini, aku akan memberimu sesuatu.”
Rasulullah SAW bertanya, “Apa yang akan engkau berikan kepadanya?” Ibunya menjawab akan memberikan Abdullah bin Amir kecil kurma. Kemudian Rasulullah SAW mengingatkan, “Jika engkau tidak menepati (janjimu), niscaya itu akan dicatat sebagai dusta.” (HR Abu Daud).
Spirit kisah ini mengingatkan bahwa selain merugikan kepentingan orang lain, berbohong juga merugikan orang yang berbohong itu sendiri. Seseorang yang sering berdusta tidak akan dipercaya meskipun suatu waktu ia berkata benar. Padahal, untuk memperoleh kesuksesan dan kebahagiaan, seseorang memerlukan kepercayaan dan dukungan orang lain.
Salah satu pribadi yang jauh dari sifat bohong terekam indah dalam dialog Umar Ibn Khattab dengan seorang anak penggembala. Khalifah Umar mendekati anak penggembala itu kemudian berkata, “Cukup banyak kambing yang kamu pelihara, sangat bagus dan gemuk-gemuk. Kamu jual saja padaku seekor yang gemuk dan bagus.”
Mendengar perkataan Amirul Mukminin itu, penggembala menjawab, “Kambing-kambing ini bukan milik saya, melainkan milik tuan saya. Saya hanyalah penggembala yang menerima gaji.” Kemudian Umar Ibn Khattab berkata, “Katakan saja pada tuanmu, kambingnya dimakan serigala.”
Anak gembala itu diam sejenak, ditatapnya wajah Amirul Mukminin, “Jika tuan menyuruh saya berbohong, bukankah Allah Maha Melihat? Apakah tuan tidak menyadari siksa Allah itu pasti bagi para pendusta?” Menyaksikan kejujuran anak gembala itu, Umar Ibn Khattab terharu, bahagia, dan kagum akan ketaatannya kepada Allah SWT. Dialog ini mengingatkan kita untuk terus berlatih jujur dalam kondisi dan situasi apa pun.
Namun, tidak semua kebohongan itu mengandung kesalahan dan terlarang. Dalam situasi tertentu, berbohong dibolehkan. Seperti yang diriwayatkan Ummu Kultsum, “Aku tidak mendengar Rasulullah SAW sedikit pun menginginkan dusta kecuali dalam tiga hal, yaitu seseorang yang berkata dusta untuk mendamaikan, seseorang yang berkata dusta sebagai strategi peperangan, dan suami yang berkata dusta kepada istri atau istri yang berkata dusta kepada suami demi untuk keharmonisan rumah tangga.” (HR Muslim).
Sumber: republika.co.idLies come out of our mouth for a variety of reasons:
• Fear. When kids are scared of the consequences of their actions, they often lie to cover up. (Are the rules too strict? Are the limits too tight? Does your child feel free to talk with you?)
• To protect somebody else.
• Because she is imaginative and the truth is boring.
• To avoid an unpleasant task. (”Did you brush your teeth?””Yes, Dad!”)
• By mistake. Sometimes lies seem almost involuntary, and a lie just slips out, especially if your child gets caught in a misdeed. (”Who broke the antique chair? ”I didn’t!”) Then, soon enough, it’s Sir Walter Scott: ”Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!”
• For love, for approval, and because kids like to impress people quickly and effectively.
Lie Prevention Techniques (And That’s the Truth!)
But here’s the truth: lying is normal. It’s wrong, but it’s normal. In fact, we all do it to some degree. Consider how adults use lies in their daily lives: When we’re stopped for speeding, we often minimize what we’ve done wrong, if not out–and–out lie about it. Why? We’re hoping to get out of something, even if we know better.
Many lies come from self-protection, and you can help by not creating a situation where you feels pressured to lie or suffer the consequences.
• Keep the conversation focused on what happened or what the problem is, rather than casting blame.
• Don’t cross-examine (”After you left school, which route did you take home? And this was at precisely 3:10 p.m.?”), forget the fierce white lights and the sleep deprivation techniques. Remember that the object of talking with your child is to communicate. Grilling will make him close down, not open up, to you.
• Looking for the positive intent? Lies are a misguided survival technique.
• Lies are easy to slip into, and even easier to compound themselves, lie upon lie. Many kids slip into lying as painlessly as sliding into warm, tropical ocean water. It’s more painful getting out (shiver, shiver).
• When your kid has misbehaved, don’t trap him into a lie, or set him up in a no-win situation. Confronting him with leading questions is more likely to elicit a lie than talking calmly with him about what happened. If Tony comes home with a black eye and you scream at him, ”I swear I will kill you if you got into a fight! Did you fight today?”you are putting Tony into a situation where he’s either got to lie (”Oh no, I walked into a wall.””Oh honey, get an ice pack for that”) or face your wrath. A better approach would be, ”Oh my! What happened? Let’s sit down.”
• The truth is hard to tell. It’s risky to confess (and risk is always hard). If your child confesses a misdeed to you, you need to 1) thank him for the truth, and give him positive reinforcement for his bravery and his sense of ethics, and then 2) deal with the misdeed by applying appropriate consequences. Doing step 2 but not step 1 is as bad a mistake as doing step 1 without step 2. He needs to have positive feedback for telling the truth and he needs consistent consequences. The positive feedback will make the consequence easier to take, and help build his ethical sense.
• Don’t reprimand your child for telling the truth.
• Before you talk with your kid about a lie he’s told, make sure that he did lie. A false accusation, or not believing a child when he is telling the truth, can devastate.
http://www.islamiclife.com/child_rising/2013/how_to_deal_with_lying_in_children_and_teens.php
